signs of unresolved trauma

This article is originally published on Kucing Sakura. Posted here by Sweetener&Co for educational purposes only.

By Nur Sabrina

Trauma is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress from a situation that exceeds one’s ability to cope – such as the death of loved ones, the end of a meaningful relationship, or the rejection of loved ones. Have you ever pretended that everything’s good when it really isn’t?

When you don’t have a positive and healthy way of dealing with your trauma, you end up repressing your negative emotions.

It can be hard to recognize unresolved trauma on the surface especially within ourselves. So here are 5 signs you’re still suffering from unhealed trauma.

1. You resist positive change

When something good comes into your life, is your first instinct to be suspicious of it? You have an innate feeling of shame and guilt whenever you allow yourself to grow attached to someone or celebrate your own success?

If so, you might be carrying unresolved trauma within you. You have a hard time accepting positive change and may even try to resist it. Because deep down inside, you feel like you don’t deserve to be happy.

2. You need to plan for everything

Do you have a need to stay completely in control? Do you feel frustrated and lost whenever things don’t go the way you expect?

Your need for control is most likely rooted in a traumatic experience that left you feeling helpless and vulnerable. As a result, you micromanage everything and worry about the things that are out of your control. This shows that you have a deep-seated distrust in both yourself and the world in general. You will often ask yourself “what if things go wrong?

3. You have a strong fear of failure

Being afraid of failure is a normal part of human nature. However, a strong fear of failure can be unhealthy if it starts to outweigh your motivation to succeed.

Not only do you miss out on a lot of opportunities and stifle your creativity and ambition because of it, but it can also lead to perfectionism and insecurity. It might be instilled in you by unresolved trauma that causes you to have a negative belief in yourself and internalize your shortcomings.

4. You have a strong fear of success

Alternately, repressed trauma can also manifest through a strong fear of success.

Did you ever hold yourself back from getting something you wanted not because you feared you might not get it, but because you fear of what would happen when you did. You’re afraid of losing what you have even before you achieve it. The tendency to unconsciously sabotage your own chances of success is often associated with those who were abandoned or lost a loved one at a young age.

 5. You have difficulty concentrating

Trauma has a lot of damaging psychological effects and it’s not uncommon for victims to suddenly have difficulty concentrating. If you’ve been having gaps in your memory, blackening out often, and finding it hard to keep your train of thoughts, it might be your mind crying out for help asking you to work through your trauma.